Category: Serial Killer

Source: anonymous American Film Market employee

In 2011, David Bossie, the president of Citizens United, introduced Donald Trump to Steve Bannon, the Hollywood provocateur behind such hits as Indian Runner and  Fire from the Heartland: The Awakening of the Conservative Woman. Mr. Bannon proposed that they team up and run Mr. Trump for the Republican nomination in 2012.

Trump had a better idea: They make him a movie star.

In November 2013, Mr. Bannon and Mr. Trump set up shop at the American Film Market in Santa Monica, pre-selling titles to be be produced by their the TBT (Trump-Banner-Trump) banner. TBT sold the international rights to two films based solely on the posters and Mr. Trump’s fading celebrity from The Apprentice. The films enjoyed varying levels of success.

4th of July  

A serial killer who wears a Statue of Liberty mask has been setting people on fire with his Torch of Hating Freedom, and the only person who can stop him is the billionaire real estate developer, Donald Trump. The script called for the Trump character to unmask the villain (the racist terrorist Osama bin Bama) on top of Mount Rushmore, defeat him with professional wrestling moves and then somehow throw him into the Grand Canyon. Unfortunately, early in the filming, the actor playing bin Bama was shot and killed by an off-duty cop guarding the set. Loss: $18 million

Time Maker

A time-traveling romance in which brilliant billionaire inventor Donald J. Trump travels back to August 1962 in order to bang Marilyn Monroe. But it’s too late. She’s already fat. Naturally he gets caught up with Soviet agents and is forced into a Sophie’s Choice, only harder. Does he prevent Lee Harvey Oswald, a good man, from assassinating John F. Kennedy, knowing it might effect his own tremendous future? Or does he help him get the job done? Shooting was suspended when the Real Doll playing Monroe proved unconvincing, despite several attempts. Loss: $112 million.